Island Living

"All of my books are about achieving the isolation that our culture tells us should make us happy. Someone has gotten onto an island or into a high-rise condo and is completely cut off from all 'the jerks' in the world. That's supposed to make them happy, but they are more miserable than they ever were."
Chuck Palahniuk, author. From an interview in Relevant Magazine, Sept. 2004

I think this is a great illustration of much of the church in America in recent history. We somehow thought that isolating ourselves from culture and people that aren't like us and that we frankly, just consider 'the jerks' in the world, would make us not only happier, but holier.

Now, it's easy for me to lob that insult at other Christians, especially 'older' ones (because, of course, we younger ones are all missional and authentic and all that, you know). It's harder to admit that too often the isolating myself in my little happy Jesus box is my own "modus operandi". When given the choice of hanging out with friends that laugh at my jokes, other believers that understand my "Christianese", and acquaintances that willingly make polite conversation OR talking to people who don't agree with, get, or even like my humor, lingo, and beliefs, the obvious choice is the one I mostly choose.

The thing is--always interacting with like-minded souls gets pretty boring. It's like discussing a movie that you've all seen a few times. You can only go "remember the part where he..." and "wasn't it cool how she..." so many times and then the only way to go on is to overanalyze it and interpret it with your own cool, new spin. "I thought that was symbolic of..." or "I think the deeper meaning of that part is..." You could keep trying to one-up each other with your great new insights on it, but then it kind of becomes all about you--all about your thoughts on it, your opinions and interpretations of it--and none of it is real life.

Chuck Palahniuk goes on to say about his miserable characters, "So they create circumstances-whether or not they are aware of it-which force them on a quest to reconnect with people." A quest to reconnect with people is a great way to describe the gospel. We create circumstances, whether or not we are aware of it, when we stop looking at other people as "the jerks" and instead treat them as people that God created and deems worthy of care. I can strike up a conversation with that waiter that I see all the time. I can take time to listen to my neighbors and invite them into my life and world. I can ask that co-worker how his weekend trip went. And in doing so, I begin the quest for reconnection. Eventually, maybe, they will like me, get my humor, and even understand the lingo. Or maybe they won't. But it will be real life. So you can sit on your island or stay in your high-rise condo. I think going on a quest sounds a lot more exciting.

Real Grown Ups: stories of people that are well on their way to being "mature"

This is the story of a bachelor. Not a long time bachelor, but a man who was married for 40 years to a wonderful woman, and had been adjusting to life alone for 2 years. Retired, with grown children and grandchildren, he had long served as front door greeter at his local church, always the first one to offer a good morning and a handshake to regulars and visitors. He had served in leadership there as well, offering sound counsel in the middle of many trials. People knew he was in the building when they heard his familiar whistle. (people don't whistle enough anymore!)

Then one day the bachelor fell in love and became a groom again. He met a woman who is beautiful inside as well as outside. A missionary, supported by his church, living in Spain, she had been a widow much longer--for 13 years. They married and since she was not quite ready to retire from her mission work, he began a transcontinental commute. To Spain to be with his wife for a month, then back to the states to see his children and grandchildren for a month. Difficult, but when you start mixing your lives together late in the game, there is a lot more to accomodate. Young newlyweds have the advantage of starting with an almost blank slate, intertwining every part of their lives from before they even say "I do". Older newlyweds have entanglements on every front that have to be unwound more slowly and then carefully woven together.

The bachelor, become the husband, is now 75. When he was newly married, he asked a computer techie friend to look up the words to an old love song so he could sing it to his bride over the phone, something he still does after 4 years that still results in giggles on the other end of the line. He has become involved in her ministry and has tried with no measurable success to learn Spanish. For now, they still commute and he is still there at the door each week when they are in the U.S.

Recently, while waiting for a flight to Spain, he was approached by an airline representative. The flight was overbooked, and they offered him $900, a stay at an airport motel, and his supper if he would wait until the morning to fly out. He didn't consult her. He didn't think about what they could do with the money. He said, "No". He wanted to be with his bride. He says simply, "I'm a romantic", and leaves whistling an old love song that we all should hear.

Open Hands

It's been a week of emotional and spiritual highs and lows. One of fighting giving in to my feelings versus holding on to my faith. And it's only Wednesday.

This quote is helping me...

"Living a life of faith means never knowing where you are being led, but it does know loving and knowing the one who is leading. It is literally a life of faith, not of understanding and reason--a life of knowing him who calls us to go." (Oswald Chambers)

Trying to stand with open hands, palms up, eyes closed--trusting.

The Skinny on My Mocha

According to a recent article in More Magazine (subtitle: "smart talk for smart women"), coffee may help women stay sharp. Researchers in France, who I'm sure were drinking those tiny little espressos, smoking and eating cheese, studied the effect of caffeine on 7,000 men and women. Running tests over the course of 4 years, they found that the women who drank the most caffeine (the equivalent to 3 cups or 300 milligrams a day), were better at remembering words and "less likely to lose their nonverbal memory than those who drank less caffeine." They think it has something to do with how the caffeine interacts with "estrogen receptors in the brain". To which I thought, "aaahh, I have estrogen receptors in my brain interacting with a stimulating substance! Great!" Researchers also found that it didn't have any effect on men's cognitive abilities. Bummer for them, although I'm encouraged that it doesn't stimulate testosterone receptors in their brains. Although that would explain the popularity of Starbucks.

My son started working at Starbucks a few months ago, so all this is great news for me. An avowed tea drinker for years (which is NOT the same as being a "teetotaler"), I started drinking coffee only a few years ago when I started working full time. It started with Mochas, which we all know are a gateway drug, and has progressed to Sulawesi Bold (still with non-fat cream & sugar, please). I think it was just a coincidence that my growing fondness for coffee and my new everyday-going-to-work-outside-the-home schedule coincided, but it was a great convergence. And now that we get a free pound of coffee every week, which is more than we drink in...I don't know--I haven't really figured out the timeline yet--but several weeks, I can indulge for significantly less moola. So, bring on the cognitive skills tests! Quiz me on what states Obama won! Ask me the name of that person I met last week! Just don't expect me to drink it black-I don't want to overstimulate my estrogen receptors, you know.

Life--as we overcome

From "My Utmost for His Highest" by Oswald Chambers:

"We all have many dreams and aspirations when we are young, but sooner or later we realize we have no power to accomplish them. We cannot do the things we long to do, so our tendency is to think of our dreams and aspirations as dead. But God comes and says to us, "Arise from the dead . . . ." When God sends His inspiration, it comes to us with such miraculous power that we are able to "arise from the dead" and do the impossible. The remarkable thing about spiritual initiative is that the life and power comes after we "get up and get going." God does not give us overcoming life— He gives us life as we overcome. When the inspiration of God comes, and He says, "Arise from the dead . . . ," we have to get ourselves up; God will not lift us up."

Stoke the Fire

February. Michigan. Snow. Sub-zero windchills. "I hate this state. I hate the snow. I hate my commute." said my husband after a particularly bad drive home. Me, in my eternal optimist guise, remarked, "You're being quite the pessimist." "If you can't be pessimistic in Michigan in February, when can you be?" He got me on that one. I could have shared that I'd been fighting a funk of my own for several days.

And it had been one of those days. You know, the ones where it feels like everyone needs a little piece of you? I'm finding the problem is I like the idea of being a mentor, helping those that are a little newer in their faith-walk move forward and grow. I like the idea of coming alongside those I minister with and listening and encouraging them. I like the idea of it. The problem is sometimes I just don't like the work of it. And it does involve work.

It can be hard to set aside what you're focused on and really listen to someone who is lonely. It takes patience to offer counsel to someone who is struggling with the same issue today as yesterday, and often the day before. It can be soul-wearying to encourage a co-worker when the same critics are continuing to drain the life and joy out of their ministry week after week. Doing these things is more than work. It's sacrifice. It's laying aside your own agenda, your own to-do list, your own life. It's choosing to lay your time on the altar as a sacrifice. Choosing to lay your stuff on the altar as a sacrifice. Choosing to lay your self on the altar as a sacrifice. It's never easy. It's usually very, very hard. Sacrifice always involves giving up something we hold dearly. What I always seem to forget though, is that God gives it back to you in a myriad of ways. He provides. He strengthens. And in the giving up, He gives joy.

Even in February. In Michigan. In snow. In sub-zero temperatures. So, burn something on the altar this week. See if it doesn't warm you up a little bit.

A Peaceful Home...in HD

My mom and dad just bought a new TV. This was a major event, since the old one was NOT broken. This is unusual for them, coming out of the era where upgrading meant they put gravel on the dirt road by the house. And 2 TVs! We may have had a phone in every room (ok, not the bathrooms) growing up but that was only because dad worked for AT&T and got cast-offs for free. Two TVs would have been just...excessive, decadent even. But, they recognized the coming of digital broadcasting and realized they would need to have the capability and those HD flat screens just looked awfully good. At least, that's the reasoning they gave as a couple.
Individually...
Dad: "We got a new TV and put the old one in the basement. Even bought another DVD player. That way when I want to watch a show, I can do it without mom talking to me or talking on the phone during the whole thing."
Mom: "We got a new TV and put the old one in the basement. Dad even picked up another DVD for down there. That way Dad can watch his nature shows and history movies and I don't have to sit through them!
Did I mention they just celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary?