There is a Time for Everything

"It’s time for letting go | All of our if only’s
‘Cause we don’t have a time machine
And even if we did | Would we really want to use it?
Would we really want to go change everything?"

When our daughter was little, kindergarten age, we decided to rearrange her room one day while she was gone somewhere. Though we were pleased with the outcome, when she came home she took one look and tearfully wailed, "but that's not the way it's supposed to go!" She, like most of us, didn't like changes being made to her stable pink bedroom world. I guess the past month or so, I've been saying something pretty similar to my heavenly Father. Something that sounds a lot like "but that's not the way it's supposed to go". Change is tough at any age.

"‘Cause we are who and where and what we are for now,
And this is the only moment we can do anything about"

Last Sunday our senior pastor, who I am an assistant to, resigned from our church. There are many things that led up to that decision, but for this space and audience, let me just say he and his family have been called to another church, in another state. And although it's hard to say goodbye, I know it's God's plan for them.

"And if it brings you tears, Then taste them as they fall
And let them soften your heart"

It's been a time for weeping. I'm losing not only my pastor and co-worker, but a good friend and brother in the Lord. I enjoy his wife and young girls and he and my husband have developed a friendship as well. We've worked together for close to seven years--first with me as a volunteer, while he was associate and interim, then for the past 3 and a half years as his assistant and the church secretary during his time of being the senior pastor. They have often been difficult years. We've been a church that has chosen to define itself as stuck "in transition". I'll spare you the wearing and surprisingly harsh details, but suffice it to say--brace yourself if you were not aware of this-- that often church people do not live out what they believe.

"There’s only one who knows, What’s really out there waiting
In all the moments yet to be.
And all we need to know, Is He’s out there waiting
To Him the future’s history"

After hearing the news, as God would have it I was headed to my parents for a week to help my mother recover from knee replacement surgery. His timing was perfect, as I had a week not only to focus on another person's pain, but also to think and pray through mine. One morning as I sat on their back porch sipping my cup of coffee and looking into the woods behind their house, I saw a deer come across the road and walk through the trees. Another morning, I saw a mother and her two fawns frolicking (there is really no other word to describe it!) across the road. I watched hummingbirds swarm the feeder in front of their window. I sat and talked to my best friend from school for a whole morning, hearing the story of God's work in her life. I hiked in the rocky trails of Rim Rock, reminiscing with my dad about the times we'd climbed to the tops of each outcropping. I kissed my niece and nephew goodbye as they waited together for the bus on their first day back to school, all new clothes and shoes and backpacks and excitement.

So breathe it in and breathe it out, Listen to your heartbeat
There’s a wonder in the here and now,
It’s right there in front of you
And I don’t want you to miss
The miracle of the moment

Through those things I heard the God "who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine" gently and quietly saying "Trust me." "I love you." "I remember you. Remember all I've done for you?"

"And if it brings you laughter, Then throw your head back
And let it go, let it go. You gotta let it go
Listen to your heartbeat"

It's still hard. As a visiting missionary said last week, sometimes when God's doing his best work, from our finite vantage point it just seems like it stinks to us. There are more changes, uncertainty, and difficult times ahead. But though I weep, I don't fear. The One who calls us is faithful. One of my friends said after hearing the news, "this is exciting, because it means God is working!" At the time, I found that a bit annoying, but he was right. "Trust me!" God continues to say, and I am doing my best to do just that.

"And He has given us a treasure called right now
And this is the only moment we can do anything about "

(from the song "Miracle of the Moment" by Steven Curtis Chapman)