Resolving

"So let us summon a new spirit of patriotism, of responsibility, where each of us resolves to pitch in and work harder and look after not only ourselves but each other."
~President-Elect Barack Obama, in his acceptance speech, November 4th, 2008

Have you made any New Year's resolutions? I googled to find out the most common ones:
lose weight
get organized
get out of debt
learn something new
spend more time with family

"Getting out of debt" may top "losing weight" this year in the uncertain economic climate. I'm planning to work on both--consumerism is bad for our waistline and our pocketbooks!

"Help others" is actually on a lot of people's lists, but following through with such altruistic leanings can be tough. Last year I resolved to give someone a gift every week. I realized that most Christmases I can remember what I gave other people better than I can remember what I was given. It's not that I don't appreciate the gifts, it's just that I tend to spend a lot more time thinking about what people might like, and I enjoy watching them open a well-picked gift even more than I like getting one (maybe I just need to write more thank you notes, but then that's a post for another day!). The plan was to give inexpensive gifts, nothing major--just a little something to remind the recipients (sometimes anonymously) that someone cared about them. I gave a co-worker who liked fresh brewed tea a special tea cup. I gave a mentally challenged friend a craft kit she loved. I took a friend to lunch and treated. Nothing that cost me much in dollars or effort really, and the appreciation and thanks I received was rewarding. It was good to be reminded that I'm blessed and that I should share my blessings.

I don't remember exactly how long it lasted, but I know it wasn't more than a couple of months. Like most people that make resolutions, I slowly began to skip a week, then gradually just quit. Being a giver wasn't hard, remembering to be a giver was hard. You have to keep thinking about other people and what they might like and looking for opportunities to give. I don't think I consciously decided to stop-- I just let it go.

My husband is always reminding me that you need to have clearly defined goals if you want to accomplish something. I agree with that, but you also have to have stamina and determination to make a change and to follow through. They say it's good to have a friend to hold you accountable to your goals. Maybe I needed a 'giving buddy'--someone to spur me on to do good deeds and remind me of my promise.

It may be a tough year for you and me. "You never know what's coming for you..", says the mother in The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. What ever the good Lord sends our way, let's all resolve to do what our soon-to-be new president suggests and " look after not only ourselves but each other". And if anyone needs a "giving buddy", let me know!

"This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers. If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him? Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth." (1 John 3:16-18)

Merry Christmas to All

The Evening Prayer
from the book The Fire on the Hearth in Sleepy Hollow: A Christmas Poem of the Olden Time
(published in 1864)

" BUT now the hour draws near for prayer--
The father takes with reverent air
The Holy Book from well known place
And reads with inward prayer for grace
The holy Gospel's wondrous story--
How angels from the realms of glory
Appeared and sang at Jesus's birth--
"Good will to man and peace on earth"
Then each one kneeling by his chair
The patriarch leads the evening prayer
With earnest heart and simple word
And tremulous lips he thanks the Lord
He had to one so old as he
And sinful as he grieved to be
By blood bought mercy given leave
To see another Christmas eve
And oh to Heaven what praise there goes
Like fragrance from a broken rose
From the old patriarch's trembling prayer
For those who bow beside him there
His children and their children fair
With simple child like form of speech
Which never fails God's ear to reach
He prays that He who came to earth
To take our form by human birth
And knew the feelings of a child
And taught and died and reconciled
Offended Heaven and sinful man
Would by redeeming love and plan
Save him and his loved children all
From the sad ruin of the Fall--
Bring him and his their sins forgiven
To the bright Homestead built in heaven
And fill all years and every clime
With the good cheer of Christmas time"

A Reminder: What Christmas is All About

25 Years...Amazing

Happy Anniversary

(With love...to my love, my best friend)

Entangled

Our hearts grew

Softer

With tenderness

As we learned to read

Each other’s emotions

Interwoven

Our days grew

fuller

With wonder

As we shared

Each other’s dreams

Encircling

Our love grows

Stronger

With contentment

As we continue to be

Each other’s joy

Be Faithful

"The goal of faithfulness is not that we will do work for God, but that He will be free to do His work through us. God calls us to His service and places tremendous responsibilities on us. He expects no complaining on our part and offers no explanation on His part. God wants to use us as He used His own Son." ~Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest (emphasis mine)

Just a reminder-- one I needed (sigh!)--to get my focus back on who I serve, rather than what I am doing to serve. Click the link to go to read the rest of a great entry in the daily devotional for today.

Latte or Cappuccino?

If you are one of those people who feels guilty about indulging your dollars for your favorite high priced coffee, check out this article at Lark News.
I hadn't visited this site for quite awhile, but it's great for tongue-in-cheek, slightly sarcastic humor poking (mostly) gently at Christian subculture.

On the other hand, I came across this book that might give you serious pause about your daily cup of joe.

The Reason Behind All This Time and Sand

Things I've done for work in the last couple of weeks:

• Fluffed and straightened limbs on a 14' Christmas tree
• Assembled and fluffed a 5 foot, 6 foot, and 7 foot tree
• Climbed on scaffolding and ladders to hang lights on 14' and 7' trees
• Got a splinter while climbing on scaffolding
• Shopped at 6 different Walmart stores and at least 4 Target stores
• Purchased black ski masks, industrial strength velcro, red umbrellas, gloves, 24 LED flashlights, 2 types of magnets, superballs, dog balls, tennis balls, mesh ball bags, 20+ yoga/pilates balls, 64 large (8" diameter) Christmas ornaments, 64 kickballs, Christmas tree lights, ribbon
• Deflated 15 inflated yoga balls by sitting on them and smashing the air out
• Super glued magnets onto large Christmas tree ornaments (didn't work--polarization is an unforgiving natural force)
• Cut and bent heavy gauge wire into Christmas ornament hooks. 64 of them.
• Painted a big wooden box bright Christmas green.

I need a manicure. My hands look like I've been playing with a grouchy cat. It's been a busy week, with tasks at work becoming more physical and more "under the gun" as the week wore on. I have to admit that it was hard to keep a good attitude at times. I wanted to be doing more creating and less intern-type tasks. I understand it's just the nature of being new kid on the block at the busiest time in the church calender year, but I had to keep fighting down "pitiful me" feelings of "isn't there someone else to do this?" and "this is not what I expected!"

The holidays prime you for reminiscing about "auld lang syne" even before the New Year arrives, and when you've had a year of change and new beginnings it's hard not to look back over your shoulder sometimes and say, "why can't it just be like it used to be?" It's hard not to miss the old times past where the kids happily spent time with us and even helped decorate the tree, I was enjoying most of my working relationships and felt a great level of competence and creative freedom in my work, and there was wonderful rapport with all our friends and family!

Ok, who am I kidding? While all of those were true maybe for brief moments, they weren't the norm. There are ebbs and flows in jobs and relationships. And some of those things are true even now--creative sharing, developing work relationships and friendships--and while the kids didn't help with the tree, they do seem to enjoy hanging out with us at least some of the time. So why the longing for the past?

There's a great song by one of my favorite artists, Sara Groves called "Painting Pictures of Egypt". The metaphor is from the story of the Israelites wandering in the desert in their long journey to the land God had promised them. They became so discouraged at one point they longed to go back to the place where they had been slaves. (Now, please! I'm not implying that where I came from was comparable to Egyptian slavery--just that it wasn't where God wanted me to stay!) Anyway, here's the chorus:

"I’ve been painting pictures of Egypt
Leaving out what it lacked
The future seems so hard
And I want to go back
But the places that used to fit me
Cannot hold the things I"ve learned
And those roads closed off to me
While my back was turned "

Change is hard. I don't want to go back. But I do miss it.

Advent: Something Momentous

Advent: "The coming or arrival, especially of something extremely important or arrival that has been awaited (especially of something momentous)"

It seems like every year we are well into December before I break down (usually involving tears and frustration lashing out at loved ones) and go, hmmm...maybe I should consider doing something to help me focus spiritually on what the season means, rather than just my to-do list for the season. This year is no exception, but I did find a great online daily Advent devotional to help me this year. Called "Following the Star", it is a great way to get your focus back (thanks, Jenni!). It also seems to be free of "wise-men-still-seek-him, reason-for-the-season" cliches that tend to run amok in these things.

This week is our church's big Christmas "premiere"-a sort of dressiest dress rehearsal before the actual performances closer to Christmas day. Needless to say I'll be busy, but it's exciting to be part of something that thousands of people watch that has the potential to change how they look at Christmas and more importantly, how they view God. I've so far only seen bits and pieces of the whole program as I have been doing background support work to get things ready. I'm excited to see it as a whole! It feels momentous to me!

Strength for the Long Haul (Parenting)

Check out this great article over at internetmonk on parenting. I may be past the point of "raising" my children, but I still found some encouragement and good thoughts here. Even if we're grown ups, it doesn't mean we don't need to encourage others who are trying to raise good grow ups.

So, I'll also offer this word of encouragement from Colossians 1 (from The Message):

"We pray that you'll have the strength to stick it out over the long haul—not the grim strength of gritting your teeth but the glory-strength God gives. It is strength that endures the unendurable and spills over into joy, thanking the Father who makes us strong enough to take part in everything bright and beautiful that he has for us."

Hang in there.

A Prayer for Thanksgiving

O God, when I have food,
help me to remember the hungry;

When I have work,
help me to remember the jobless;
When I have a home,
help me to remember those who have no home at all;
When I am without pain,
help me to remember those who suffer,
And remembering,
help me to destroy my complacency;
bestir my compassion,
and be concerned enough to help;
By word and deed,
those who cry out for what we take for granted.
Amen.

- Samuel F. Pugh (ordained minister of the Christian Church (Disciples of Christ) for over 70 years)

"What we're really talking about is a wonderful day set aside on the fourth Thursday of November when no one diets. I mean, why else would they call it Thanksgiving?"

~Erma Bombeck

Don't Freak Out

For those in ministry who are already in the throws of Christmas planning madness, I offer this quote. I've lost the author's name, but I find it comforting on those days when I'm ready to get off the rollercoaster ride and just sit on the bench. It reminds me that God has called me to this work and life and that I am called to be different.

"Accept that your life is abnormal. Nothing about life as a ministry leader--from it's emotional toll to relational demands and constant interruptions--is normal. Accepting that you are freak with a freakish life will help you not to freak out."

Have a freaky great Thanksgiving break!

Make New Friends...

“Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, 'What! You too? I thought I was the only one”
~ C. S. Lewis

Part of the fun in starting a new job is getting to meet new people and hopefully, make new friends. Part of the angst about starting a new job is that you have to start over meeting new people and trying to make friends! It feels a little like the first day being the new kid in a new school. You don't know the lay of the land yet--who is always pleasant, who is great one-on-one but not in a group (and visa versa), who will share their pencils freely, who doesn't like you to touch their stuff, who might just beat you up and take your milk money...you get the picture. All that takes time and interaction.

It can also be hard to let people know you. We tend to hold back a little-- fearful to show the real us until we feel safe that we will be accepted and liked for who we are. And if we've been burned in past friendships (at work or otherwise), the tendency to mask our authentic selves is even stronger. As I finish a second month at my new job, I feel like I'm finally letting down the mask a little bit and being myself. It feels good. Being myself is the thing I"m best at after all. So in the spirit of self-revelation, here's 5 things you might not know about me (I know, I know, it's a bit of a cliched blog thing--but I'm ok with being a bit cliched sometimes). Maybe one of them will make you say "What? You too?":

1. I hate coconut. It's one of the very few foods I dislike. Somewhere in my childhood there is the distinct memory of getting sick after eating coconut cake that has never left me. The fact that I really have only one food nemesis is telling in itself.

2. I did not have a full-time job until I was almost 40 years old. Now, I do consider being a stay-at-home mom working part-time the equivalent of a 40 hour a week job, and I did that for many years. But if we're talking really being gone 9-5 and having a boss and steady income full-time, I was a very late starter. As a side note, I also didn't start drinking coffee until I started working full time. I also didn't drink alcohol until about that time. Not sure about a direct correlation, but you be the judge.

3. I am not afraid of much of anything. No fear of heights, small spaces, snakes, crawly things, storms, etc. I don't like looking in mirrors at night--a leftover from some bad horror movie I saw when I was an adolescent--but I can do it.

4. I am really good at remembering the words to songs. My kids used to play a game where they would throw out a word and try to see if I could remember a song containing that word (try me, I dare you). I'm not sure if this comes from years of music lessons and singing in choirs or from too much easy listening radio and "Name That Tune" episodes as a child.

5. I have had some type of illness or physical malady most of my life. When I was young, I had severe allergies that led to sinus surgeries as a young adult. When I was newly married I had low back issues that weren't resolved until a recent surgery corrected the problem. When I trained and ran a half-marathon, I ended up with a tibial stress fracture. I've had carpal tunnel syndrome and surgeries to repair it. I've had endometriosis (sorry guys, I a 'female problem') that caused so much pain I had to have a hysterectomy in my early 30's. Through all this I've remained active--skiing, running, mountain biking, and hiking. I have a friend who used to say I was the "sickest healthy person" she'd ever met. As a mostly confident, self-assured personality, it's been annoying and frustrating and has kept me dependent on God. Maybe that's the point of it all. I've given up asking God why and instead just say to Him, 'stick with me here, ok?"

Bonus: Well, I just couldn't leave it at the last one--it was just toooo serious and pathetic!
I have seen almost every sci-fi movie made since the 80's. (The only exception would be those that lean heavily toward horror/slasher films, but I've even seen a few of those--see #3.)

So there you have it. A little mini-reveal of the real me--a little brave, a little broken, little nerdy. Now, please don't take my milk money. I just want to be your friend.

Let's Face It

A quote to consider as you smile or frown today...

"Nature gives you the face you have at 20. Life shapes the face you have at 30. But at 50 you get the face you deserve."
~ Coco Chanel

Learning is an Adventure

"We learn something every day, and lots of times it's that what we learned the day before was wrong." ~Bill Vaughn, American columnist and author

The honeymoon is over as they say. New jobs, like new relationships, can be heady, exciting adventures at the start, especially for extroverted, sanguine personalities like mine. We love learning new things and getting to meet new people. I also enjoy learning new processes and systems in an organization, and like taking chaotic, messy processes and and creating ways for them to be clear and usable. I haven't always been able to articulate or even recognize that I enjoy these things. Getting to know yourself is one of the benefits of having a few extra years as a grown up.

Jumping into the inner workings of a large church has been full of these types of adventures. I also enjoy the unpredictable and never-know-what-you'll-be asked-to-do next atmosphere of the artistic area I work in. I might be off to purchase a bunch of items one day (like a bunch of yoga balls), participating in a creative planning meeting the next, and doing research online another day. I love the craziness of it.

But, (did you sense that coming?) it's not easy. It is hard to be thrown into a fast pace Christmas-planning-crazy environment where you are trying to keep up the pace, when you don't quite have your feet under you. Feeling like you are trying to learn the phone and computer systems, decipher workplace slang (what's a M.O.S.? a Crunch?), and simply learn people's names is a challenge. And there is always the need to just "learn" people. Body language and tone can tell you far more than words, but it takes time to be able to pick up on the individual dialects. Like taking residence in a foreign culture, there comes a point where the awe of observing and absorbing new sights and sounds starts to wear on you and you miss the familiar and routine of your homeland.

Last week I had a bad day. I misread some of the lingo and I let myself get overwhelmed by the language barrier. I got stressed out trying to keep up and look like I was a native when still need the map now and then! It's good to be reminded that I am not always going to get it the first time, and that the natives are pretty patient here. I'm learning something new every day and trying to embrace it as an adventure. Which is a good way to live life, not just work, I'm thinking.

It Costs Too Much!

"I think age is a very high price to pay for maturity."
~Tom Stoppard, British screenwriter and playwright

Viva la Vida...Together

"With a big chunk of the world still ahead on the "Viva la Vida..." tour, that means Martin and the rest of Coldplay have been and will continue to spend a lot of time together. 'We've just been getting closer and closer,' Martin says. 'I think because we're in this thing together, we're becoming more and more connected... First of all, we're each other's family, really, cause we know each other really well. And second, we go through everything together. To me it's the most safe environment I can think of, within the band."
~Chris Martin of Coldplay, quoted in the Oakland Press

We joined a new 'small group' last week. Our new church is large--at the main campus they have 4 services each weekend with attendance well into the thousands. So if you want to get to know people and develop deeper relationships, you need to join a small group. These groups meet at least once or twice a month. As the KCC website states: "Each group is unique and free to create its own format - the goal is that all small groups would experience life-changing community with a vision and purpose greater than themselves."

The group we chose is doing a study the church suggested-working through a video of the Life of John and discussing what we've seen over a shared meal. It is a mixed group-married, single, and married but attending alone. We felt welcomed and comfortable with the study and the group, but it will take time to feel the connectedness that we desire. Yes, we are Christian "brothers and sisters", which gives us a tremendous head start, but it's still hard to start over. We've been a part of several groups over the years with our former church, and in the most recent groups, we already knew everyone fairly well.

Our new group is planning to do a service project soon, which I'm looking forward to--there's nothing like working toward a "purpose greater than ourselves" to draw us closer to each other. It will take time to get to the point where we feel like friends, and-hopefully-eventually like family. It's worth it though, because we all need a "band" of people that helping us to"viva la vida" or in English..."live the life."

Take Comfort

"I take comfort that aging happens to everybody. It's part of life. Yes, it bothers me when I have lines of puffiness or droops. But it connects me with the human race. Just like weather is the great equalizer, so is aging."
~Diane Lane, movie star quoted in O magazine

Just taking comfort that even the rich and famous have to put up with puffiness and droops.

Being a grown up means....

Being a grown up means....you willingly choose to not be the center of attention, even if that's where you prefer to be.

Real Grown Ups..My Little Sister

I took this picture of my sister and my niece getting ready to catch the bus for the first day of school back in late August (they start earlier there than MI). It was the start of the school year for my sister too, as she works as a elementary school counselor in the area. (You may not be able to see it, but the backpack is pink camo print--fitting for a princess-pretending, soccer powerhouse, plays-in-the-dirt-but-likes-Hannah Montana-kindergartener!)

My only sibling, my sister is 3 years younger than me. And--big dramatic pause here--she turns the big 4-0 in a couple of weeks. "One day it happens--you think to yourself, 'you know, that music is kind of loud,' and you reach over... and turn it down...and you are 40." At least that's what the card I'm sending her says. And no, I'm not worried about her reading it here first, because she doesn't read my blog. She only recently got a computer in the house connected to the Internet. She would admit to a little fear of it, but mostly it's just that she just thinks the kids (and she and hubby for that matter) have better things to do than surf the net--like "get outside and blow the stink off you", for goodness sake! (something my mom used to say regularly). And get outside she does. When I recently made the mistake of commenting that I had to get up at the ungodly time of 5:45 am to be able to carpool to work with my hubby, she said in her understated way "yeah, I was up at 5, out the door to run at 5:15 this morning." She admitted that due to the dark and cold and wind she did say to herself 'this is crazy'. But then she ran anyway--probably her normal 5-7 miles. She runs year round, switching to a treadmill only when it gets way too cold to be outside. She has run at least 3 marathons and I don't know how many half marathons over the last few years. She complained to my mom after a recent half-marathon that she seems to be getting slower. Then proceeded to share that she came in second in her age group and in the top 100 over all. She's fast--she qualified for Boston, but just couldn't get the logistics to work to go. And at only 5 feet tall, we figure she has to take a lot more steps per race than some of the runners! She's gutsy and tough though. In high school she ran hurdles--hurdles! And she managed to finish--with a decent time--the grueling 2007 Chicago marathon before it was called off due to heat. The year before that, she ran in the very brisk (ok, being southern Indiana girl she called it "brutal") Detroit Free Press Marathon.


She's a great mother. One of the things her little country church does twice a month is take their youth kids to a local food pantry to help sort items. She takes my nephew, who couldn't believe there were people around that couldn't just go buy groceries. My niece, who is actually too young to be in the group, went each week to help pack boxes and carry as well. She's teaching them already the satisfaction and thankfulness that comes from helping those who don't have the blessings you have.

Her job as a school counselor is a tough one. When kids act up in school or just seem to be having a rough day, they go see her. She gives them playdough to distract them and occupy their hands so they can talk about their feelings. Some come from slightly broken homes where Dad and Mom spent the night before yelling at each other. Some come from really broken homes where Dad spent the evening hitting mom or abusing them. How much must it break your heart to talk with a child who is experiencing the devastation of incest? You would think it wouldn't be too bad in a small town in heartland America, but the problems are there and she is their advocate, helping them cope or getting them the help they need even at their very young ages.

Real grown ups--like my sister--do the hard thing, even when it requires sacrifices and personal discomfort. They role out of bed and hit the pavement out of discipline and love for what they do, knowing it makes a difference in their life. She gets medals all the time for running races--for being self-disciplined enough to train and compete. But it's what she does to make a difference in others lives, and how she teaches her kids that it's not really all about us and our little world of comfort and material stuff, that is truly medal worthy. And it makes me want to be like her when I grow up.

Trying, Failing, but still Traveling...

"Attack me, I do this myself, but attack me rather than the path I follow and which I point out to anyone who asks me where I think it lies. If I know the way home and am walking along it drunkenly, is it any less the right way because I am staggering from side to side!"
~Leo Tolstoy, 19th century Russian novelist, quoted in UnChristian: What a New Generation Really Thinks About Christianity...And Why It Matters, by David Kinnaman and Gabe Lyons. You should read this book.

Too Much?

"Perhaps too much of everything is as bad as too little." Edna Ferber, American novelist and playwright (1885 - 1968)

So I've decided to work my way through a list of writing exercises that I read in Oprah magazine over the summer. "O" is, regardless of what you think of her show and persona, a magazine full of great articles and interesting reading. The suggestions appeared in the sidebar of an article called "How to Write Your Own Memoir," and while that is something I'm not planning to tackle any time soon, I thought the there were some great 'writing starters' that I could use here.
"Write two pages of what you have too much of." Well, one thing I know about being grown ups--once you've reached your 40's in America, most of us have too much of something in our lives. Even though my hubby and I are not 'pack rat' people*, (well, ok I am a little. He will throw out a magazine before I ever open it if I let it sit out in the open too long!) I realized there are things I have that most people would probably consider just too much.

Hmmm...2 pages sounded daunting and not really in keeping with blogging style, so I decided to take pictures to illustrate.

We own quite a few DVD's. Hubby buys most of them and often gets them for gifts. There are 3 main criteria:
1. They have to be big blockbuster type movies and/or
2. They have to be sci fi or fantasy type, or a major pixar-type animated movie
3. They have to be ones we can imagine watching more than one more time

There are a lot like this:









There are not nearly enough like this. Anybody want the Pilates for Dummies?







We also have a lot of 80's and 90's music CD's. Ugh. Bruce Hornsby, anyone?









Doesn't everyone have a drawer like this now? Too many old power cords and adapters and where is that one I need for the charger....??






Now it gets a little more personal.
I probably have too many jackets.
These are not all mine, but they are also not all of mine.
We do have a VERY small coat closet.
Together we have enough that they spill over into other spots. My reasoning for having so many? We live in Michigan! You can always use a jacket!

Sandals! What can I say? I have shoes issues--as in difficulty finding a good fit--and sandals are just more accommodating. According to FashionBlast.net, a recent study revealed that women over the age of 40 own an average of 19 pairs of shoes. I guess I'm above average there, although it also says that women over 40 own an average of 11 handbags--a figure I come no where near! Add to that the fact that I do a lot of clearance, sale, and Salvation Army shopping and I don't feel too bad about this "too much". It does sort of run counter to the whole "we live in Michigan" jacket justification though.


I have too many earrings. I've even added a third hole just to give me somewhere else to stick them. 99% of them are costume jewelry and not worth much at all. They do have sentimental value though, because I often buy them on vacations and they remind me of the trip. I love funky, handcrafted, and unusual styles. I don't own many necklaces or rings by comparison.

The world's most expensive earrings ever made cost 8.5 million dollars.

But enough about my self-indulgence! I'm probably worse than some women, better than others in this department.

I have TOO MUCH RED TILE!!

This is my bathroom. It came with the lake house, which had way too many other things that needed repair. There was no time to spend on tile that was in great shape, but it's just hideous. I sent in pictures to one of those ugliest bathroom in America contests once, but got no response.

There is soooo much of it! We have to do something about it soon. It's beginning to wear on me. It hurts my eyes. It's orange in some areas. And the question that really haunts me is, "who does this to starts with?"













And that's how we are--happy with too much of some things, frustrated with too much of other things. Lack of contentment coloring it all. In this case in an all too bright shade of red.

What do you have too much of? Come on....'fess up!

*There's a pretty good book out on this subject if this is really something you struggle with called "It's All Too Much" by Peter Walsh.

Being a Grown Up means...

....means realizing you can't control other people. Even your kids. Even if they plan to get a tattoo. Or dreadlocks.

Ultimate Frisbee Players Unite!

Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.
~George Carlin

Funny is Hereditary...you get it from your kids

"Trying to be a first-rate reporter on the average American newspaper is like trying to play Bach's 'St. Matthew's Passion' on a ukulele." (source unknown)

Sooo....sorry for the heaviness of the posts recently. I decided I need to lighten things up here. So I'm turning to my daughter to help out. She works at an area newspaper, and while she wrote tons of stories as a lowly barely-paid intern, now that she graduated and has a full time copywriter position she doesn't get to write stories very often. Instead she sends me funny emails with almost always intriguing subject lines. Unfortunately, I'd already deleted many of them, but I have a few to share, along with some of the actual content. Shhh…don't tell her...

To: mom
Subject: The weird, wild world of Sanilac County (or just another day at the copy desk...)

This hilarious, disgusting, classically podunk image is going to appear in the Sunday edition of The Jeffersonian, with this caption:
Fungus among us!
Autumn is the time for mushrooms and Bill Eckel found a doozy on his lawn at 6121 Lakeshore Rd., Lexington. It is a specimen of calvatea gigantea or – giant puffball. It had a circumference of 34 inches and weighed four pounds. Many puffballs are edible, but be careful, because some are toxic.
Thought ya'll might appreciate it.

Some are just blatant ploys for parental favors:

To: mom
Subject: Love the Madness
Just FYI, you can get a women's Moosejaw hoodie for half off (that's $25 instead of $50) if you enter coupon code 689 today. In case you were wondering what to get me for Christmas or Sweetest Day or Tuesday or something...

Cool connection to a website I recommended...

To: Mom
Subject: Exploding dog used my title!
I was referring to the Ben Folds concert, but his take on it is pretty funny...
http://www.explodingdog.com/title/ijustcantwait.html

My apologies for the swear word, but you gotta admit it's funny...

To: Mom
Subject: What we all with we could say when someone asked us to explain ourselves...

I just asked the founder of Moosejaw if he could explain a statement in the press release I received, which said something about Moosejaw being "well positioned" to take advantage of the growing popularity of outdoor activities like climbing, hiking, etc. His answer? "Shit, I don't know!" Refreshing honesty, although at 3:30 in the afternoon, with post-lunch drowsiness in full effect, I wasn't exactly sure how to respond.
Happy Tuesday :)

Poem of Grief

Grief
doesn’t fit neatly
in the little day box
on my calendar
marked out to say
that’s completed
now move on
to the next square

Mourning
doesn’t allow me
to schedule a time
begin feeling the pain
when the chime reminds me
to sorrow and sigh now
or miss the chance

Unexpectedly, sorrow flows
pools in my gut
while a song I try to sing
tunes to the ache
resonates with my hurt
vibrations echoed in tears
even while the waves fade

Remembrance
doesn’t tolerate
the wondrous sight
of a glorious autumn
blood red glowing orange tree
with it’s momentary beauty
for I see only the
crumpled piles underneath
decaying colors evaporating
and long for spring

sm

Words about Arts in the Church

Thoughts on Racism: My Experience

Over the weekend there was an article in the Oakland Press highlighting evidence of racism in metro Detroit. Focusing on the roads that racially separate Detroit from Gross Pointe (Alter Road) and the mostly black Detroit and it's mostly white suburbs (8 Mile Road), "they found people of both races living just blocks apart who nonetheless spoke of each other like strangers. There was suspicion, contempt-and yet, for many, a desperate hope that Obama's candidacy might be the final step in America's long path to racial equality."

Racial equality and understanding are great things to hope for--regardless of your political leanings. Reading the article, I remembered the one black man I knew growing up. His name was Odie Henry. He and his wife Mary, who was white, attended our little Cumberland Presbyterian church. He was, at least to my young eyes, treated without prejudice by the small congregation. To better understand just how unusual this was, you have to understand the area I grew up in.

To say I grew up in a town that was not diverse would be a great understatement. In a town of 1,500, according to the census number on the sign, there was not one person living there that was not white. (Odie lived several miles away-out in the country.) There was one Korean boy who attended my high school, but he also lived in another town. There was no one from India (although a few years after I moved away there a Pakistani doctorwho began a practice). No Chinese or Chaldean shop owners. No Arabic or Italian faces in the schools. A quick Google search shows that even today only .2% of the population is foreign born, which equals 2 people out of the current population of about 1,000. Racially, from my recent visits, it is still an all white town.

A retiree with some gray already speckling his dark closely clipped hair, Odie Henry built model trains as a hobby. He had helped work on the model railroad display in the Chicago Museum of Science and Industry. His basement held not only trains and working displays, but the equipment needed to make the wheels and other parts himself. As an inquisitive young girl I found it somewhat interesting, and I think if I had expressed a desire to learn he would have been willing to teach me some of his skills. As far as I can remember, he had only grown step children, and he was not able to pass on his legacy before he died. He was a kind and gentle soul who spoke softly and was respected in our church, even while there were surely great prejudices held privately and quietly by some of the congregants there. Any prejudices of my parents or grandparents were largely unexpressed in my presence (at least not until I was old enough to judge it as ignorance) and I grew up with mostly no negative impressions of those of other races.

The Oakland Press article says that when questioned, Detroit area blacks and whites each put blame for the prejudices that still exist on the "they" and "them", pointing to others in their neighborhoods as barriers to understanding and equality, even as they make racial comments. Sadly, many will grow up never really knowing or being friends with someone of another race. "Here, it's unfamiliarity that can breed contempt--or at least misunderstanding," says the article. Not knowing someone as a person--and accepting the caricatures formed by assumption and prejudices passed down from others--the dividing line will continue to exist.

As I entered adulthood, my only lasting impression of blacks was in the form of a person I knew--Odie Henry--who was a kind, dignified Christian man who built model trains. "Black" had a name and a face for me to recall and it colored all my future encounters with those of other races with grace. If the one black man I had known growing up had been violent or even just abrasive, I may have developed a different lens through which I would have viewed other races. I'd like to think I would not have settled for an image based on one person, but I'm sure I would have been more suspicious and less open to friendships with blacks.

The town I live in now is 90% white, but I know we have neighbors across the street who are black. No polititian alone can bring the change that will be the final step on that long path to racial equality. I think the only way we can erase the imaginary dividing line that most definitely exists between blacks and whites is by reaching out with openness to those who are still strangers and getting to know them--one person, one friendship at a time.

Real Grown Ups Revisited

In honor of my friends that just moved to Louisville, CO (near Boulder), an early post about a woman I met on an airplane that lives an unusual lifestyle in that area.

Real Grown Ups: Dorothy

Being a Grown Up means...

Being a grown up means...you see the value in taking time to teach someone younger than you how to do the things you do easily. And that you are patient and encouraging while doing it.

World's Largest Pillow Fight: Grand Rapids

Well, technically I don't know if it's the "world's largest", but it certainly is the biggest I've ever heard about! My son, who attends Kendall College of Art & Design in Grand Rapids, MI shot these photos of the event. Get several hundred people with pillows together, divide them into teams with different colored t-shirts and watch the feathers fly. Check out his awesome slide show here. For news coverage of the event, click here.