A Prayer for Thanksgiving

O God, when I have food,
help me to remember the hungry;

When I have work,
help me to remember the jobless;
When I have a home,
help me to remember those who have no home at all;
When I am without pain,
help me to remember those who suffer,
And remembering,
help me to destroy my complacency;
bestir my compassion,
and be concerned enough to help;
By word and deed,
those who cry out for what we take for granted.
Amen.

- Samuel F. Pugh (ordained minister of the Christian Church (Disciples of Christ) for over 70 years)

"What we're really talking about is a wonderful day set aside on the fourth Thursday of November when no one diets. I mean, why else would they call it Thanksgiving?"

~Erma Bombeck

Don't Freak Out

For those in ministry who are already in the throws of Christmas planning madness, I offer this quote. I've lost the author's name, but I find it comforting on those days when I'm ready to get off the rollercoaster ride and just sit on the bench. It reminds me that God has called me to this work and life and that I am called to be different.

"Accept that your life is abnormal. Nothing about life as a ministry leader--from it's emotional toll to relational demands and constant interruptions--is normal. Accepting that you are freak with a freakish life will help you not to freak out."

Have a freaky great Thanksgiving break!

Make New Friends...

“Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, 'What! You too? I thought I was the only one”
~ C. S. Lewis

Part of the fun in starting a new job is getting to meet new people and hopefully, make new friends. Part of the angst about starting a new job is that you have to start over meeting new people and trying to make friends! It feels a little like the first day being the new kid in a new school. You don't know the lay of the land yet--who is always pleasant, who is great one-on-one but not in a group (and visa versa), who will share their pencils freely, who doesn't like you to touch their stuff, who might just beat you up and take your milk money...you get the picture. All that takes time and interaction.

It can also be hard to let people know you. We tend to hold back a little-- fearful to show the real us until we feel safe that we will be accepted and liked for who we are. And if we've been burned in past friendships (at work or otherwise), the tendency to mask our authentic selves is even stronger. As I finish a second month at my new job, I feel like I'm finally letting down the mask a little bit and being myself. It feels good. Being myself is the thing I"m best at after all. So in the spirit of self-revelation, here's 5 things you might not know about me (I know, I know, it's a bit of a cliched blog thing--but I'm ok with being a bit cliched sometimes). Maybe one of them will make you say "What? You too?":

1. I hate coconut. It's one of the very few foods I dislike. Somewhere in my childhood there is the distinct memory of getting sick after eating coconut cake that has never left me. The fact that I really have only one food nemesis is telling in itself.

2. I did not have a full-time job until I was almost 40 years old. Now, I do consider being a stay-at-home mom working part-time the equivalent of a 40 hour a week job, and I did that for many years. But if we're talking really being gone 9-5 and having a boss and steady income full-time, I was a very late starter. As a side note, I also didn't start drinking coffee until I started working full time. I also didn't drink alcohol until about that time. Not sure about a direct correlation, but you be the judge.

3. I am not afraid of much of anything. No fear of heights, small spaces, snakes, crawly things, storms, etc. I don't like looking in mirrors at night--a leftover from some bad horror movie I saw when I was an adolescent--but I can do it.

4. I am really good at remembering the words to songs. My kids used to play a game where they would throw out a word and try to see if I could remember a song containing that word (try me, I dare you). I'm not sure if this comes from years of music lessons and singing in choirs or from too much easy listening radio and "Name That Tune" episodes as a child.

5. I have had some type of illness or physical malady most of my life. When I was young, I had severe allergies that led to sinus surgeries as a young adult. When I was newly married I had low back issues that weren't resolved until a recent surgery corrected the problem. When I trained and ran a half-marathon, I ended up with a tibial stress fracture. I've had carpal tunnel syndrome and surgeries to repair it. I've had endometriosis (sorry guys, I a 'female problem') that caused so much pain I had to have a hysterectomy in my early 30's. Through all this I've remained active--skiing, running, mountain biking, and hiking. I have a friend who used to say I was the "sickest healthy person" she'd ever met. As a mostly confident, self-assured personality, it's been annoying and frustrating and has kept me dependent on God. Maybe that's the point of it all. I've given up asking God why and instead just say to Him, 'stick with me here, ok?"

Bonus: Well, I just couldn't leave it at the last one--it was just toooo serious and pathetic!
I have seen almost every sci-fi movie made since the 80's. (The only exception would be those that lean heavily toward horror/slasher films, but I've even seen a few of those--see #3.)

So there you have it. A little mini-reveal of the real me--a little brave, a little broken, little nerdy. Now, please don't take my milk money. I just want to be your friend.

Let's Face It

A quote to consider as you smile or frown today...

"Nature gives you the face you have at 20. Life shapes the face you have at 30. But at 50 you get the face you deserve."
~ Coco Chanel

Learning is an Adventure

"We learn something every day, and lots of times it's that what we learned the day before was wrong." ~Bill Vaughn, American columnist and author

The honeymoon is over as they say. New jobs, like new relationships, can be heady, exciting adventures at the start, especially for extroverted, sanguine personalities like mine. We love learning new things and getting to meet new people. I also enjoy learning new processes and systems in an organization, and like taking chaotic, messy processes and and creating ways for them to be clear and usable. I haven't always been able to articulate or even recognize that I enjoy these things. Getting to know yourself is one of the benefits of having a few extra years as a grown up.

Jumping into the inner workings of a large church has been full of these types of adventures. I also enjoy the unpredictable and never-know-what-you'll-be asked-to-do next atmosphere of the artistic area I work in. I might be off to purchase a bunch of items one day (like a bunch of yoga balls), participating in a creative planning meeting the next, and doing research online another day. I love the craziness of it.

But, (did you sense that coming?) it's not easy. It is hard to be thrown into a fast pace Christmas-planning-crazy environment where you are trying to keep up the pace, when you don't quite have your feet under you. Feeling like you are trying to learn the phone and computer systems, decipher workplace slang (what's a M.O.S.? a Crunch?), and simply learn people's names is a challenge. And there is always the need to just "learn" people. Body language and tone can tell you far more than words, but it takes time to be able to pick up on the individual dialects. Like taking residence in a foreign culture, there comes a point where the awe of observing and absorbing new sights and sounds starts to wear on you and you miss the familiar and routine of your homeland.

Last week I had a bad day. I misread some of the lingo and I let myself get overwhelmed by the language barrier. I got stressed out trying to keep up and look like I was a native when still need the map now and then! It's good to be reminded that I am not always going to get it the first time, and that the natives are pretty patient here. I'm learning something new every day and trying to embrace it as an adventure. Which is a good way to live life, not just work, I'm thinking.

It Costs Too Much!

"I think age is a very high price to pay for maturity."
~Tom Stoppard, British screenwriter and playwright

Viva la Vida...Together

"With a big chunk of the world still ahead on the "Viva la Vida..." tour, that means Martin and the rest of Coldplay have been and will continue to spend a lot of time together. 'We've just been getting closer and closer,' Martin says. 'I think because we're in this thing together, we're becoming more and more connected... First of all, we're each other's family, really, cause we know each other really well. And second, we go through everything together. To me it's the most safe environment I can think of, within the band."
~Chris Martin of Coldplay, quoted in the Oakland Press

We joined a new 'small group' last week. Our new church is large--at the main campus they have 4 services each weekend with attendance well into the thousands. So if you want to get to know people and develop deeper relationships, you need to join a small group. These groups meet at least once or twice a month. As the KCC website states: "Each group is unique and free to create its own format - the goal is that all small groups would experience life-changing community with a vision and purpose greater than themselves."

The group we chose is doing a study the church suggested-working through a video of the Life of John and discussing what we've seen over a shared meal. It is a mixed group-married, single, and married but attending alone. We felt welcomed and comfortable with the study and the group, but it will take time to feel the connectedness that we desire. Yes, we are Christian "brothers and sisters", which gives us a tremendous head start, but it's still hard to start over. We've been a part of several groups over the years with our former church, and in the most recent groups, we already knew everyone fairly well.

Our new group is planning to do a service project soon, which I'm looking forward to--there's nothing like working toward a "purpose greater than ourselves" to draw us closer to each other. It will take time to get to the point where we feel like friends, and-hopefully-eventually like family. It's worth it though, because we all need a "band" of people that helping us to"viva la vida" or in English..."live the life."

Take Comfort

"I take comfort that aging happens to everybody. It's part of life. Yes, it bothers me when I have lines of puffiness or droops. But it connects me with the human race. Just like weather is the great equalizer, so is aging."
~Diane Lane, movie star quoted in O magazine

Just taking comfort that even the rich and famous have to put up with puffiness and droops.

Being a grown up means....

Being a grown up means....you willingly choose to not be the center of attention, even if that's where you prefer to be.