What Do You Want to Be When You Grow Up?

"All of us in our forties and beyond need to come to a reckoning of what we wanted to be and who we actually are; that's one definition of maturity. Grown-ups can accept that they aren't international opera stars or Nobel Prizewinners in medicine, rather than live in disappointment, they appreciate the reality of who they've become and acknowledge their skills, accomplishments and lessons learned." (Laura Fraser in an article in More Magazine)

"What do you want to be when you grow up?"

A simple question we ask children from the time they are very small. When I was a kid, at various points I wanted to be a vet, a music teacher, an author, a poet, and I'm sure a few other things I've long since forgotten. With the exception of the vet, I've actually been all of the other things at one time or another, to one degree or another. We've owned 2 dogs during our marriage, both of which developed nasty biting habits and had to be sent away (one to be put down, the other to live in the country in what really could be considered 'doggy heaven'), so I'm thinking there's a reason for that one. I wrote poetry when I was in high school and won some minor awards, enough to feel my poetic and oh-so-mournful 16 year old soul had been taken seriously. Even without a teaching degree, I was able to teach piano for many years and enjoyed the interaction and joy of seeing children learn a new skill. A few years ago I taught vocal music at a private school, preschool through 5th grade, and enjoyed it, but realized this would not have been a good long term career for me for various reasons.

As far as writer....well, other than the drama stuff, I haven't really lived that one out. That is part of the reason for this blog--I really wanted something that compelled me to write on a more regular basis, with the hope it might develop into more.

Did I want to be a Nobel Prize winner? Nope. Opera star? Maybe Grand Ol' Opry...but no, not really. Did I want to be a church secretary and pastor's assistant? To quote an often used co-worker's phrase...'Are you kidding me?'

Few of us end up where we thought we'd be when we were first asked that question. Is it 'giving up' or 'growing up' when we let go of the early dreams we had for ourselves? Maybe the maturity lies in examining our early dreams for the underlying desire that gave them birth.

The little boy that wanted to be a fireman may have had a longing to help and rescue people in distress. That desire might play out in adulthood to a lucrative career as a doctor or a calling as a missionary.

We shouldn't live in disappointment that we didn't grow up to be ballerinas or major league baseball players, but as Ms. Fraser states, we should "appreciate the reality" of who we've become. I agree, but with one caveat. While I think it is necessary to "come to a reckoning of what we wanted to be and who we actually are", I don't think we should give up so easily on that earlier unrealized dream.

Wanted to be a ballerina? It's never to late to have fun learning to move and sway in a dance class. Wanted to be a Major League player? There are some really fun softball leagues playing for the joy of the sport.

Want to be a writer? Why not start out with a blog? You never know what you might end up being when you finally grow up.